Red, White and Blew.

There has been a lot of buzz lately in regard to Pabst being the new American brewery since Anheuser Busch sold their soul to the Nazi's. In respose Pabst sales have skyrocketed and the black framed glasses community couldn't be more content. Here are my thoughts...
There is an inherent need within some humans to identify themselves with trendy subculture, in order to compensate for gaping insecurities. Case in point, Pabst, the Blue Ribbon Beer. As every card carrying hipster knows, there is no better form of street cred than guzzling down a PBR, after a hard night of emoting over teenaged themed rock. Instead of taking the beer at face value, on its merits, the hipster lets others decide for him, the emperor is naked and everyone agrees those clothes look great. For anyone who's actually enjoyed beer beyond a 7th grade level (I'm talking you JW Dundee Honey-Brown drinkers), you'll know that Pabst tastes like piss, and the horse it rode in on. The only reason anyone would subject themselves to the hateful taste of PBR is to fulfill a clause in the hipster handbook.
Growing up my next door neighbor, a die hard Blue Ribbon man, would occasionally drop by and drink a few with the old man. He was affectionately known in the neighborhood as "DumbDumbDickie," which as the name suggests, is the reason why he drank what he did. Sometimes DumbDumb would leave a few extras in the fridge at our house, and they would stay there for months until my mom had to empty them - amazingly surviving the old man's pass through the fridge time and time again. The point to all this, is what trust funder hipsters can't grasp; their desperate attempt to relate to the common man through materialism grossly underestimates the fact that blue collar joe actually exercises personal choice in his drinking preferences! It comes down to a simple fact. PBR tastes like sh*t!